14 M.I.P.P.A. warriors entered the arena on August 30th to draft players. Just 7 remain in contention. Only 6 can win this portion of the contest and enter the final battle.
Let’s dive right in to the stuff you came here for!
The Dartmouth Drunks (8-4) kicked kicking butker (5-7) to the curb, stomping them out 140-76 on the backs of Jameis Winston (Jameis Winston derangement syndrome destroys the brain), Christian McCaffrey and Michael Thomas. They have a stranglehold on the 3rd seed at this point.
IR or In Jail (7-4-1) did M.F. Lunchables (4-8) a solid and improved their 2020 draft slot, winning 114-105 in Week 12. Currently sitting as the 7th seed, IR or In Jail kept their championship dream alive with the victory. Derrick Henry or bust seems to be the path for IR or In Jail!
After an underwhelming game in the 1:00pm EST window from Russell Wilson and DK Metcalf, “Uncle Lenny” Leonard Fournette SAVED Tornado Rodgers (8-4) season with a 36 point performance. They defeated the Boston Robstahs (4-8) 72-69.
INSERT WITTY NAME (8-4) hopped on the back of the Lord himself, Christ Godwin, and he delivered them from evil. His 42 point performance was the primary effort that knocked Bizz Dawgs (8-4) out of control of the Mints’ division title.
The team currently sitting with the Mints division crown? Yang Bucks (8-4) will continue to ride the Lamar Jackson train until it derails, as they defeated the regular season champions, Merrymount MadMen (9-2-1) 132-62 behind strong games from each of Jackson, DeAndre Hopkins and Odell Beckham Jr.
The Mints title (and the second bye week) will come down to Sunday – Yang Bucks, Tornado Rodgers, and Bizz Dawgs all have paths to clinching it! For now, some tiers (and tears):
Contenders
Merrymount MadMen (9-2-1)
Dartmouth Drunks (8-4)
INSERT WITTY NAME (8-4)
Mints Logjam
Yang Bucks (8-4)
Tornado Rodgers (8-4)
Bizz Dawgs (8-4)
Win and In?
IR or In Jail (7-4-1)
2020 Mock Drafters
Fortunate Fools (6-6)
kicking butker (5-7)
The Pissahs (5-7)
Boston Robstahs (4-8)
M.F. Lunchables (4-8)
Easton Yard Sale (2-10)
Burke’s Squad (1-11)
Power Rankings for the rest of the season (lol):
Yang Bucks (8-4) and INSERT WITTY NAME (8-4) play a crucial H2H in the final week of the season. There is a path to the loser missing the playoffs; if IR or In Jail wins, their tie will hurt one 8-5 squad badly come Monday night. So there’s a lot on the line! Yang Bucks will try to clinch their division title and playoff berth on the backs of Lamar Jackson, Le’Veon Bell and DeAndre Hopkins. INSERT WITTY NAME is poised to win, however, on the backs of Saquon Barkley and Ezekiel Elliott. They are 7 point favorites.
Dartmouth Drunks (8-4) was literally the worst possible matchup for Bizz Dawgs (8-4). As huge 60 point favorites in Week 13, it appears like Bizz Dawgs Mints title dreams (maybe playoff dreams?) are DOA. Dalvin Cook returns to the starting lineup for the Bizz Dawgs, hopefully he can lead them to victory. The Drunks bring Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Christian McCaff- yeah nope, BizzBot is screwed here guys.
Tornado Rodgers (8-4) is a 15 point underdog to the snake-bitten Fortunate Fools (6-6). The Fools are the 2nd strongest team in our power rankings, and have scored the third most points on the season. This is a REVENGE GAME for the Fools, who lost in the championship round of the inaugural Hooter’s Invitational to Tornado Rodgers last season. A win here by the Fools might send Tornado Rodgers back to that bracket for year two. Drew Brees and Alvin Kamara play on Thursday night, and will try and bury Tornado Rodgers. Russell Wilson, Leonard Fournette and company will certainly have something to say about that come Sunday, though. This is the MARQUEE GAME OF THE WEEK and worth monitoring come Sunday.
While sitting in the 7th slot today, IR or In Jail (7-4-1) looks poised for a playoff berth as they wrap up their regular season campaign against Burke’s Squad (1-11). The matchup couldn’t come at a better time for the fans in Gorham, who are optimistic Julian Edelman, Derrick Henry, and Matt Ryan will lead them to the playoffs.
That’s it for the Week 13 power rankings! Good luck, everybody! Final projections:
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