Cheaters!!!

A vent, by Rick Lavoie

I listen to a few podcasts now; Skeptics Guide to the Universe, Hub History, Small Town Murder, and the MIPPAcast. It is probably obvious that I didn’t immediately press play for the most recent MIPPAcast as I was on the marathon two hour long show. With that said, I began listening to it this week. A small snippet caught my attention.

Seth was ranting about almost calling a Philadelphia radio station to protest the old trope that the Patriots are cheaters. It resonated even more when I heard a clip from Glen Ordway interviewing some other jamoke from Philadelphia radio.

MIPPA Boys, with their buds (including Pete Shepard). Photo by Glen Ordway

During the interview, the Philly-fraud joined in the chorus of morons whose only rebuke to Patriot glory is by declaring that the Patriots are cheaters. At DeMolay LTC, there is an advisor from Connecticut that happens to be a Jets fan. On Facebook, or face to face, this guys believes in a massive league-wide conspiracy to help the Patriots win. Every September, at the beginning of the NFL season, this guy has some post about how the Jets might have a chance…and then, when it is finally apparent to him, he starts again on the Cheatriots.

Call me a homer, but don’t call my team cheaters without first doing a deep dive on your own team.

Some Drunk Indy fan who loved me, but hated the Pats. The Colts fans were booing when the picture was taken.

In November of 2007, I went to Indy to watch the Patriots play the Colts. It was a great game and trip. I met a ton of nice people, but I met plenty of Colts fans who accused my beloved team of cheating. This, for those who don’t remember, is the game where Indy was accused of artificially pumping crowd noise into the dome. The accusations never went anywhere, but the Patriots are the cheaters?

A Giant version of Rick Lavoie intimidates a pip squeak of a man accusing the Patriots of cheating.

After the Patriots came back in the 4th and beat Manning’s Colts, we went to the Slippery Noodle. It’s a cool bar, but I was verbally accosted by many blue jersey boys. In this instance, I think I physically threatened a small man. Needless to say, they all maintained that we broke the rules.

It’s here, where this post is taking a drastic turn.

The Patriots are cheaters. There is no doubt about it. Cheating is defined as “a person who acts dishonestly in order to gain an advantage.” The team, its coaches, its players, and even its owners (on occasion) have absolutely acted dishonestly to gain a competitive advantage. The NFL has rules. They broke the rules. They were caught. They were punished. Nothing here is a lie or falsehood. The problem is that the Patriots are not the only team that acts dishonestly to gain an advantage. They are all guilty.

The Head Coach of the Rams actively “cheating” on camera. No fine or penalty assessed.

The NFL has a ton of rules. If you break any of them, for a competitive advantage, you are literally a cheater. Normally, during the game, if you “cheat” the officials throw a flag (Sorry Saints fans). The penalty is assessed. If you commit an egregious violation of the rules, you might be fined or suspended. There is no legal difference in McVeigh’s bum-chum than there is with Belichik’s favorite home videos or Tom’s balls. The scale of the cheating might matter to some, but they are never heard saying, “your team cheats more than my team.” Of course, the Patriots are among the least penalized (On-field) cheaters in the league over the past 20 years, so…perhaps not.

The truth is everyone is cheating. Some do it better than others, some suck at it.