By Rick Lavoie

Forgive me in advance, but I am fairly confident that I am about to go off in several tangents. The title says it all, Gronk is overrated. Sure, he is one of the better tight ends in the history of the NFL, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t overrated. The online dictionary used by Google defines Overrated as “having a higher opinion of (someone or something) than is deserved.” Using that vague definition to guide us, as we travel through space and time to explore the truth that is Gronk’s overratedness.

Last year, around this time, I activated my “MoviePass” account. The premise was cool. I pay about $100.00 for a year-long subscription and in return I get to see one movie a day (no blackouts). I was very excited. I thought it was the greatest subscription service ever and I eagerly began seeing movies that I would never had gone to see if paying individually. I found myself getting drinks and popcorn more than I had originally planned and realized that the theaters were probably cool with the arrangement. In February, during Black History Month, I went to see Black Panther. It was on fleek and I decided to see it a second time. A few days later, I rolled up to the Showcase – Revere and opened up my MoviePass App. I scrolled to find the show and time, but they were not accessible. Perplexed, I chose another, albeit less on fleek, film. The greatest subscription service ever had let me down. I invested my money and heart into it’s success, but due to a lack of capital investments (and not enough subscriptions) MoviePass was on a downward spiral. I canceled my account before the year was up because the number of available theaters in the area became less than one. Anytime something is highly rated, the expectation must be met…otherwise it was over rated.

This yarn reminds me of another example of something in my life that was overrated. The year was 1995. I had just graduated from high school and I was serving Massachusetts DeMolay as a state officer. As a self-diagnosed insomniac, I routinely found myself up late on most nights (It’s 12:31am as I write this). In September, I think it was, I found myself turning to an old standby…Saturday Night Live. It was the first year without Sandler, Myers, and Nealon. I was nervous that the onslaught of new cast members would not serve the show well, but watched with baited breath. Dave Spade was still there, but anyone who’s seen Joe Dirt knows that no big thing. Anyways, there was an old dude on the show, kind of reminded me of Phil Hartman. He had been a member of the Groundlings and was brought onboard with Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan. Admittedly, I found some of Will Ferrell’s skits humorous. I chortle at his role in Jeopardy even today. I, however, found his humor to be quite bland. I remember, as time went on, becoming less and less attached to the show that I had watched since elementary school and it was mostly Ferrell’s fault.

Fast forward a few years, and I am at Revere’s Showcase Cinema. I am there, with friends, to watch a movie called, “Old School (which I paid for because MoviePAss hadn’t been invented yet).” It sucked…in my opinion. So many other people were calling Ferrell a genius. As I went to more and more of his movies, I saw him do the same old shtick. The sheeple all doubled over with laughs, but I cringed everytime he appeared in his underwear screaming nonsensical nonsense at the camera. [I remember loving Wedding Crashers until his character showed up] I made a similar claim about Will that I have about Rob. If one is the greatest and is unstoppable, then their shit should smell of roses at all times. You can imagine the shock over the past few days as my longevity paid off even if Holmes and Watson hasn’t.

To prove me wrong, one would have to change my perception. I listen to what folks say about Will Ferrell, what they said about MoviePass, and what is said about Mr. Gronkowski. I am riddled with confirmation bias on this matter. Every injury, every dropped pass, and every non-football related event that he participates in reminds me of how overrated he is. Every playoff game, when he didn’t play, adds credibility to my argument. Any post-season touchdown is expected, it’s the lack of production when it counts that counts. Gronk is overrated until he isn’t, but he probably always will be.

Thanks for reading!

By Rick Lavoie

As a Patriots fan (maybe even as a Bostonian), we are used to the world revolving around us. While we’ve suffered through the agonizing times, we have been blessed with a great coach, an amazing quarterback, and a top-notch General Manager. They’ve supported Mr. Kraft (arguably the best owner in the game) with key personnel matters and player acquisitions…let alone play execution. They have made us expect to win…and when they lose it can be quite confusing. That is why this season seems like such a bust for the boys in red, white, and blue.

We aren’t the NFL though. We are just a small segment of the football universe. Little object, in nature, do not revolve around large objects. The Patriots may seem like they’ve lost a few steps (They have) and that they are just another team (Not sold on that one yet), but the NFL redesigned its league structure during the 2002 season to bring parity to the league and it has worked…for the most part.

Admittedly, I haven’t watched as many games this season as I would have liked, but I have been trying to keep up. Imagine my shock this morning when I awoke to see that the Seahawks beat the Chiefs. We are going into the final week of the season and the Number 1 seed in the AFC is still available. The Saints finally clinched their Number 1 seed this past weekend by beating the Steelers (who are unlikely to make the playoffs). We will have a prime time play-in game between the Titans/Colts…the winner makes it (A tie puts Big Ben back in the mix).

There have been so many seasons where the playoff picture is set by Week 12-14, but this year, there are still so many questions to be answered. If we take away our own hubris and contemplate the season, then it is clear, that this is greatest season of NFL football in recent memory….prove me wrong.

Rick Lavoie is founding member of the MIPPA and a contributing editor to the MIPPA Blog.  A graduate of Salem State College, Lavoie has made his mark  on the sports world time and time again.  When he types, God listens.

by SM Punk

So unless youve been living in a cave on Mars, with your hands over your ears and a blindfold covering your eyes, youve no doubt heard that Bird Box was just released on Netflix this past weekend. Like any other fan of cinema, i typically leap to the internet (reddit) to consume all of the post watching information i can find on whatever ive just partaken in. What i have found, seems to be very polarizing reviews. The two most frequently written come in the form of either “a more boring Quiet Place” or “well written, well acted, well received”. Is it possible however, to be both?

For those that havent seen BB or AQP, major spoilers lie ahead. EVERYONE DIES AT THE END OF BOTH MOVIES!!!

Haha, just kidding, or am i? i dont remember, but heres what i think. Right off the jump, lets discuss whether or not BB is really just a poorly made version of AQP. Well, a quick internet search shows that BB was first a novel written by some lead singer of some minutely known band called The High Strung way back in 2014. a full 3 years prior to the release of AQP. However, the rough draft for BB was first penned all the way back in 2008, the same year the Patriots went undefeated and won the SuperBowl, 19-0 baby! At the time, you might remember a cinematic masterpiece called The Happening starring South Boston’s own, Marky Mark (sans funky bunch, unless you consider Zooey Deschanel funky) and directed by a hot newcomer in Hollywood by the name of M. Night Himalayaman.

In The Happening (SPOILERS!!) Mother Nature has decided shes had just about enough of humanity and decides to set forth a bio-plague which causes mass suicide by anyone stupid enough to enjoy a little bit of fresh air. It isnt until Marky Mark finds a crystal skull, abandoned on Earth by ancient aliens, with the help of Shia LeBouf that we (humans) are able to send Mother Nature packing after a solid ass kicking. USA! USA!

So where was I? Right, The Happening came out in 2008 to critical reviews… by critics. So the author of Bird Box was rightfully nervous that his very similar story might not be as well received as he had hoped. At the time he was hoping for more of a Dirty Dancing type of reception, unfortunately, he was correct and his novel got more of a Step Up 2: The Streets type of fanfare. Although well liked by fans of the suspense/thriller/blindfold genre, it wasnt until Original Movie MEGA POWER Netflix picked up the screenplay, that buzz started to take place surrounding the project.

Ok, as of right now, we have a story in BB that is about a naturally sentient, although unseen force, which makes you violently kill yourself if you were to gaze upon its awesome power. Which is similar to the structure of The Happening (nature makes you kill yourself) being released a full year after the critically successful release of A Quiet Place (abandoning one of your 5 senses to survive an unseen monster). I mean, not the best timing. However, if you were to dive just a little bit deeper, you might change your mind about dismissing this Netflix Original as a shoddy side B.

In AQP, the main characters… Jim from the Office and New Mary Poppins, are a family living in the middle of an apocolyptic event, surrounded by these blind monster dog thingys, that have super acute hearing and an insatiable bloodlust. To survive, Big Tuna and the Girl on the Train, set up all these boobytwap’s… thats what i said, BOOBY TWAPS, to help them battle these blind motherfuckers and try to live an otherwise normal life. Who amongst us hasnt nearly caused the collapse of our entire household from a game of monopoly thats gotten a little to heated? Ultimately Jim sacrifices himself so that his super-genius daughter can discover a way to beat the super sensitive to sound monsters, through the use of…. wait for it, LOUD NOISES. Jesus Christ people, Spiderman vs Venom showed us that little trick nearly 40 years ago.

Stupid plot device aside, what AQP was so effective at, was telling a story through a visual medium… sort of like, it was written to be viewed on a gigantic screen, in a dark theater, where silence is of the out-most importance. AQP was essentially a silent movie without the janky saloon piano and blatant racism. Bird Box however was developed for the written medium (am i using the word medium correctly?) one that places the importance on what you can imagine and NOT what you can see. As stated before, in BB the big bad is a biological monster/virus/ghost? that forces the violent demise of any who look or are forced to look at it. There is also a side plot of the mentally unstable that are immune to its destructive power but are coerced into doing the entity’s bidding by trying to make unaffected people forcibly open their eyes. Throughout the movie we are treated to elongated POV scenes of the main characters traversing the world in blindfolds. Thats why the idea of a movie, whose main “monster” is unseen (the monster/entity is never seen) doesnt really feel like the best idea. Although widely believed that the best monsters throughout cinematic history have always been ones whose screentime is limited (Jaws, OG Michael Myers, black characters on FRIENDS) it is hard to make a monster movie without an actual monster.

What BB does instead of a jump scares and gore porn though, is try to scare you through good to great acting. With a star studded cast including Sandy Bullock, Cyrus the Virus, Lil Rel Howery (from Uncle Drew fame), Sarah Paulson from AHS and even mother fucking BD WONG!! Sandy is superb as a flawed and selfish woman forced into a leadership/parenting role. Her co-main is some black guy ive never heard of but definitely seen before and kept thinking he was either Sterling K Brown or maybe 50 Cent, and he does an amazing job of breathing hope and life back into a world of darkness (via blindfolds). Malky is probably the strongest character while Lil Rel is obviously the funniest. The movie is ensemble driven and flawlessly executed to that extent.

As the movie plods along, characters are killed off one by one until only America’s sweetheart remains, and then Sandy Bullock kills Julia Roberts… ZING! in the end, Sandy finds her way to safety and salvation in the form of, wait for it… A SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND. I mean, the first thing i said to Nance while watching the movie was “blind people would do well here” and, i was proven right, again.

Ultimately BB is a very good movie and although shares some cinematic cliches with AQP and even The Happening, it differs in the way it expects you the viewer to process what youre seeing, or not seeing. There is no answer as to what the entity is, there is no explanation as to why this is happening, there is no victory for our characters… only drawn out survival. Without reading the book, i cant tell you that the book was better, although based off of reddit posts, the suggestion is that the book was better (as always)… but i can definitely say that Bird Box was not a more boring or cheaply made version of A Quiet Place. It was better acted, better written for its characters, better paced in terms of past and present and even better priced (free)…

…yet, it still wasnt better than A Quiet Place.

Sit Bird Box

Start A Quiet Place

A vent, by Rick Lavoie

Tonight, I was heading out to buy some last minute Christmas gifts for my parents. I usually get them each an “As Seen on TV” gift even though they hate them. I’ve been doing it for over a decade and have never repeated a gift.

Anyways, I was backing down my driveway and noticed a package on the steps. As I retrieved the box, I noticed that a bunch of my Christmas lights were out. I walked across the yard to a string of lights hanging on my fence. I thought the plug had come undone…but it was still plugged in. The lights had been cut.

A few weeks back, a small section of LED lollipop lights were out. That line was also cut. At first, I made the assumption that the cold weather, mixed with a freezing rain, had made the line brittle. I bought a new section and all seemed well…until tonight. As I made my way back to the truck, I noticed another string of lights was very dim. Upon closer inspection, the line was also cut. It was dark out and raining, so I just unplugged everything to prevent a shortage from happening.

I drove to the closest Walgreens and went to buy some junk for the folks, but as I perused the aisle, I realized the culprit hadn’t just cut some cords, he had cut away my Christmas spirit. I had plans to wrap presents tonight, to watch a little “Love, Actually,” and to be merry. My plans were ruined.

I’ve had a busy fall and my knee hurt more than I let on before surgery. I wasn’t able to do the lights like I wanted, but I thought people would enjoy them. A co-worker even mentioned them to me just the other day. Hanging lights is one of the only Christmas traditions that I actually enjoy. Tomorrow, I am supposed to head up to Maine, but I am thinking I might pack up all of the lights first. It really bums me out. Oh, well, Merry Christmas MIPPA.

Sigh. #America

For many, September 11th is a day of silent reflection.  The attacks against our freedoms and our way of life live strong in our memories, but we’ve worked diligently to resume the type of life our founding fathers set out for us.

As somber as that day is for us, it is also signifies the start of something new…something quite extraordinary. It was September 11, 2014 when @MIPPA_Football first tweeted into the history books.

MIPPA_Football might just seem like a forgotten relic of a bye-gone day, but not for me. I am one of the lucky few who are both following, and followed by, this anonymous sage of the gridiron.

There are many who are reading this blog that are not part of the exclusivity of MIPPA football and the Twitter handle associated with our great league, but they are soon to be woke. The 2014 season started like most other Fantasy Football seasons, with the flip of a coin. It was a literal toss up to see who might be the victor. As such, expectations were high when all of a sudden a notification appeared on the horizon. The welcomed addition of a new follower on Twitter. Likewise, a request to follow the aforementioned MIPPA_Football was expeditiously sent. The first tweet was innocent enough:

The Gorham IR or Jail ( a name which still confuses me) was hoping to turn the ship against the Brahma Bulls. They did…winning 102-90. They went 4-9 that year and the Brahma Bulls soon went defunct. The tweet set off a firestorm of activity in all camps throughout the MIPPA league. Owners who had previously seemed uninterested or distracted found their curiosity piqued. Stalwarts reinvigorated their practice of relentless dedication to their craft. One owner, however, quickly emerged from the ranks to outscore them all…The Pissahs.

With an 11-2 record, the Pissahs were clear favorites that year. The MIPPA_Football twitter handle must have recognized the dominance early in the season. Here are some never before seen glimpses into the minds of geniuses.

And so it went, throughout the 2014 season. The inner workings of America’ favorite Fantasy Football league were examined by a curious eye. The DMs, the Tweets, the Hottest of Taeks, and the “likes” shared from prominent football experts and analysts…they all played into making that season one of the best in league history.

Then…it all stopped. December 4th. A day that will live in infamy. A tweet out to the Pissahs owner and JackWorldChamp. The sidebet heard round the world. $50 on whoever won the bye week. A conversation ensued…and then stopped. For years, the account laid silent…not a peep or a tweet.

The 2014 season closed with perennial regular season champion, Rick Lavoie, losing to Bryan Finley in the final game.

This past August, two tweets rang out…one with some Flair and another with the draft order. Picking last, with the 14th overall selection, would be the Pissahs. Finally winning the whole thing, MIPPA_Football must have felt obligated to surface. After having contributed to the 2014 greatness of the Pissahs, the twitter handle chose to come back.

109 tweets…a few replies…some media shared…but thousands of hearts touched. The mystery of the Tweets may never be solved. Some have speculated that a lost password caused the disappearance, but why on Dec. 4th. Some think that secret conversations continued behind the scenes between a few league owners. Others are convinced that the surreptitious tweeter was mugged on a trip to London. They sought out help from folks on Facebook only to erroneously be marked as a scam.

As the MIPPA brand begins to grow, our focus must be forward, but not at the expense of the past. Newton once said, “If I have seen further, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants.” Our bloggers, our podcasters, and our Youtubers owe a debt of gratitude to their forebears. Thus, on all September 11ths to come, while solemnly remembering the tragedy of 2001, hold a special part of your heart for 2014…the day that 109 tweets saved our world.

Wait, is that Kareem InMike Hunt’s music?! Bah God, it is!!

And what’s that?! It looks like Bosa Deez Nuts is joining him. This is INSANE!!!

You ever think about what your “walk out” song(s) would be? Well these most likely would be mine and I’m never ever gonna have a chance to use them again so just deal with it for now……

Welcome to Championship week boys!!! I just so happened to make it to both the MIPPA and MIPPA Dynasty finals (and another finals in a Yahoo league nbd.) Apologies in advance but, yes, I do need to gloat a little. The MIPPA league is one of the hardest fantasy football leagues I’ve been apart of. The scoring is a little different, the roster is a little different, and the strategy is a little different as well. Draft picks go flying at the trade deadline, weeks could be lost by your QB taking a sack or two, and am I going to get away with only having one good RB all year because I can start a WR at the slash position and count my PPRs? Well I’m gonna try dammit!

This week is a little tougher with no Thursday night game to look forward to but Christmas comes a little early to us lucky few this weekend. It’ll give me a chance to check then recheck then triple check my lineup. Good luck to Fahey and Sylvia (and whoever is playing in the first annual Hooters Invitational for Losers.) Let’s get after it this weekend!

-Justin

The much discussed MIPPA podcast – otherwise known as the MIPPAcast – has finally been produced.

Subscribe, like, rate 5 stars, etc. etc. at your preferred provider:

Stitcher

Will MIPPA members also post blogs? Will MIPPA members and non-members alike consume them? Actual tens of humans will find out soon enough. Stay tuned!